Pussy-Bow Galore

Whether you’re #StrongerTogether,  #WithHer or #MAGA on the #TrumpTrain, I think we can all agree that the road to this election features more twists and turns than Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride — more bumps and grinds than a stripper on a pole, if you want to match the #CurrentMood.

Politics is a dirty business — thanks to the #TrumpTape we are all talking about another P-word (besides Prison)! Among the stellar moments from Sunday night’s debate that had the Twitterverse chirping, was the reveal on Melania Trump’s $1,100 fuchsia Gucci blouse — an example of what the fashion industry calls the “Pussy-Bow,” so-named from an old tradition of tying a ribbon around a feline neck (see — perfectly innocent explanation)! Gucci designer Alessandro Michele has totally revived this style (his first collection even featured it for men), popularized by Yves Saint Laurent in the ’70s, later to take a dip in the ’80s steno pool, now reestablished as high-fashion on many recent designers runways.

Melania and Ivanka gird their loins
Photo: Getty Images

While Mrs. Trump looked stunning as always, numerous tweets discussed whether this was intended as a political statement of (feel free to pick one or more of the following): irony, passive aggression, an obscene gesture directed either to the Left, to her husband, or to whomever cared to notice. We have since learned that it was an unintentional coincidence — much like “Saint” Bill just happened to run into AG Loretta Lynch at the back of a plane as his wife’s ruling was about to come down (cough, cough)…nothing fishy there. Forget that the only Bush that matters now is also a Billy.  I’m planning on taking the low road, so try these raunchy sounding clothing terms on for size, if you dare.

Is that a dickie, Hillary?
Photo Getty Images

Was Hillary wearing a dickie (hehe)– or was that a full top under her suit jacket? Inquiring minds really do want to know since it matched “purr-fectly.” Can’t help being catty over footwear — HRC clawed her way around the stage in kitten heels while Melania slinked into her seat wearing “So Kate” white stiletto Louboutin “F*ck Me pumps.”

It looked like it was a beautiful fall day in St. Louis — perhaps too cool for “seersucker,” “booty shorts” or “harem pants,” but a tad too warm for a fur “chubbie.” Alexander McQueen’s “bumsters” (extremely low riding pants popularized as part of his 1995-96 extremely un-PC named “Highland Rape” collection), might have been a mite too cheeky, particularly if planning to make a “Brexit.” Maybe a pair with “studs”?

Need the forecast so you know how to dress for the next 28 days? I’d advise keeping an umbrella handy in case of scattered WikiLeaks, a hard hat in case of tape drops, rubber boots to wade through the muck, and a plastic coat with a hood for the inevitable shitstorm. If Kim Kardashian West can quit social media after being “unencumbered” from that weighty finger rock, do we really need another sign of the apocalypse?

Laurel Marcus

OG journo major who thought Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" was a fashion guide. Desktop comedienne -- the world of fashion gives me no shortage of material.

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