Robin Wright

Whatever misaligned in the cosmos giving us back-to-back televised award shows before Labor Day is a force that must be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. We will take no prisoners; with the possible exception of the absent “E!” Emmys red carpet host Ryan Seacrest along with the unknown creator of Sunday Night Football who, perhaps unwittingly, precipitated the need for this cruel and inhuman scheduling. The Sunday night MTV Video Music Awards followed by the Monday night 66th Primetime Emmys is the one-two punch that has made me swear off award shows for at least six months; conveniently just about when the next round of ridiculousness “rears” its well-coiffed head. Incidentally, “rears” is the word that best sums up the VMA’s. (The acronym could easily be changed to “Very Much Ass”).

Miley Cyrus

If the hospitality business calls for “heads in beds,” then the music industry, especially of late, is a cry for “rears in gear” or what Fergie-Ferg used to call “junk in the trunk.” Nicki Minaj in her snake-less performance (you may have heard that the python bit a back up dancer in rehearsal) sang “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.” Poor Miley Cyrus, last year’s VMA’s scandalous twerking and grinding princess now defers to Ms. Minaj while lamenting her lack of boo-tay. “I can bring that body, I can bring that wrecking ball, but I can’t bring that ass!” she explained to Lucy Hale (“Pretty Little Liars”) and Rapper Sway Calloway during the red carpet pre-show at the Forum in Inglewood, outside of LA. What’s a girl to do? Short of implants, Miley has moved on to work on a new “psychedelic” sound and a new album in conjunction with The Flaming Lips (too much filler perhaps? Haha) but twerking is, at least for her, a thing of the past. In addition, she’s now a do-gooder striving to raise awareness for homeless teens, allowing one quite handsome male specimen named Jesse to accept her Video of the Year award for “Wrecking Ball” for her. Miley even put on some clothes if you can call a cropped black leather tube top and pleated high-waisted matching black leather pants, clothing.  For Miley that’s practically a nun’s habit.

Iggy Azalea and J Lo

Another booty-licious rapper is 24 year-old blonde Aussie Iggy Azalea. According to Ms. Azalea, her most recognizable feature is her bum.  She has said that she can go out incognito as long as she wears shades and most importantly, shields her posterior with a tied over shirt or jacket. She performed “Black Widow” with Rita Ora and shares her famous “Fancy” video (a spoof on the ‘90s movie “Clueless”) with British singer songwriter Charli XCX. Apparently she features Rose McGowan in her “Break The Rules” upcoming prom video (due in October). It’s all less than six degrees of separation as model Amber Rose (Kanye’s ex, Wiz Khalifa’s wife) channeled McGowan’s 1998 infamous naked “chain string” dress at the VMA’s. Meanwhile McGowan has come full circle and wore a figure hiding tube sack dress out to dinner on Saturday night.

Riff Raff, Katy, Britney and Justin

An artist paying homage to a previous iconic award show look would have to be Katy Perry and her date Rapper Riff Raff. The duo came in costume, driving an orange Lamborghini onto the red carpet and alighting in full Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake “all denim everything” circa the 28th American Music Awards in 2001. In place of the hat, Riff Raff showed off his cotton candy colored braided scalp and grills while Katy flaunted her recently pierced nose with a small gold ring. It seems more the kind of thing she would have done when she married Russell Brand in India but maybe she just got around to it now.

Taylor Swift

Other highlights of the VMA’s include Taylor Swift’s performance of “Shake It Off” in a two-pieced fringe number which was slightly more modest (and flattering) than her off stage get-up of a turquoise Mary Katranzhou alphabet onesie…definitely doesn’t sound like something an adult woman should be wearing, even for an awards show. Tiny Ariana Grande with her big Mariah Carey voice is adorable with her stage outfits of sparkly bodysuits or hot pants and over the knee boots. She opened the show as well as shared the stage with equally adorable Jessie J and Nicki Minaj who clutched her black minidress together in a possible wardrobe malfunction. There were some decidedly awkward moments when SNL’s Jay Pharaoh did his impression of Kanye West with Yeezus’ blushing bride and Jenner sisters staring at him from the front row. Kim introduced singer Sam Smith (“Stay With Me”) in a short Balmain caped and beaded Tribal mini complete with plunging neckline—a look we’ve seen from her quite a bit recently.

Blue, Jay and Bey hug it out at the VMAs

The show ended with a kaleidoscopically high necked bodysuited Beyonce performing snippets of each of her current songs. Her ode to “Feminism,” was derided by many on social media since her gyrations on a pole seemed hypocritical. The night ended in one giant PR stunt as Jay Z with baby Blue Ivy on his lap clapped along and finally got up to present Bey with the Video Vanguard award amidst crocodile tears, kisses and thanks to hubby, baby and God. Call me cynical but the whole thing smacked of residual elevator damage control. By the way, Solange was apparently at the show in an oversized beaded jacket and pants but somehow she was not part of this happy family scene.

Giuliana Rancic

Last night’s Emmys were at the Nokia Theater in downtown L.A. For the first time in 38 years they were held on a Monday night and host Seth Meyers alluded to the fact that no one remembers the ’76 Emmys for that reason. Ok, he wasn’t that funny and at times kinda died out there. I can’t imagine he will be asked back again. As at most non-music award shows, the fashion was mostly a snooze-fest. Whereas musicians will take a chance with a possible mention on the worst dressed list, actresses, even those in television, are reluctant to venture out of their or more likely their stylists comfort zone which can lead to safeness and monotony.

Heidi Klum

What’s black & white and red all over? No, it’s not an embarrassed zebra… but just about every gown was one of those hues. Red was definitely in the majority beginning with E! host Giuliana Rancic, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Heidi Klum (gorgeous Zac Posen flowy and less structured dress in which he called her his “coral angel”), Octavia Spencer. January Jones, Christina Hendricks, Minnie Driver, Claire Danes in a Givenchy Haute Couture, a look I could picture Cate Blanchett in, and Uzo Aduba in a beautiful Chrisian Soriano gown.

The white memo was received by Laverne Cox (the first transgendered nominee) in a Grecian inspired Marc Bouwer gown, Sofia Vergara (seksi as ever in a strapless “crumbcatcher” form fitting Roberto Cavalli which she was eager to display her backside in), Kristin Wiig with a thigh high slit, Kate Mara in J. Mendel, Julianne Hough in an unflattering almost bridal Dsquared 2, Anna Chlumsky in a similarly unstructured and soft Zac Posen (a sister gown to Heidi Klum’s), Lucy Liu who looked a little washed out in a cream colored gown, Taylor Schilling in a cream, halter necked beaded gown also looked like she could use a brighter lipstick. In contrast, always the best WAG (wife and girlfriend) Camila Alves in a sheer lace Zuhair Murad as a nice foil to husband Matthey McConaughey in a blue tux.  House of Cards’ Robin Wright rocked a backless, white Ralph Lauren jumpsuit which stood out in a daring way.  Katherine Heigl wore a cream colored matronly Little Bo Peep meets MOTB (mother of the bride) satin gown which was inexplicable.

Gwen Stefani

Many others wore black, short navy (Julia Roberts in Elie Saab), or dark plunging neckline green on Sarah Silverman who quipped that her boobs were “the lowest they’ve ever been and the highest they’re ever gonna be.” Julianna Margulies in an ombre beaded Narciso Rodriguez split strap gown gets my vote for worst dressed. I’m pretending I never saw Lena Dunham with her weird platinum blonde bob (she mentioned that she likes to change up her hairstyle after she finishes a season of her “Girls”) and her pale pink blouse and pink shaded tutu (someone said she was channeling Tina Yothers). I also liked Gwen Stefani’s silver beaded Versace top and skirt which she said weighed a ton. Perhaps the heaviness had affected her brain or her tongue. When she announced winner Stephen Colbert (pronounced Kohl-bear) she said it as it is spelled: with a hard T leading to some pretend confusion among other nominees. The media wants to make an “Adele Dazeem/Idina Menzel moment out of it but it was nowhere near to the level of John Travolta’s recent gaffe. The L.A.M.B designer (she wore her own fuchsia outfit at the VMA’s) and Adam Levine of Maroon 5 are two that attended both night’s events and Mr. Levine even played a set for the crowd outside the arena at the VMA’s.

Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington, who just gave birth to daughter Isabelle four months ago, broke the color trend with an orange strapless Prada gown that featured a black sequin underskirt panel peeking out through a slit. Although a touch Halloweenish, I might have let her get away with it if the top had fit her better. Maybe she recently stopped breastfeeding and her cup size diminished or something but the top was too loose and formed a line under the bust which was distracting. Another actress who bucked the trend was Allison Janney in a magenta strapless gown which was lovely and fit well, however it was velvet, and this was a hot day in August. Maybe no one told her about the Sunday Night Football schedule change?

As for the award winners, I guess it’s a good thing that “Breaking Bad” finished its last season so that another drama can win for once.  Likewise, all of the actors, writers, etc. can stop thanking its creator Vince Gilligan. Ditto “Modern Family” in the comedy arena; the show won its fifth consecutive award. Sorry Sofia, it’s time to let someone else’s ample behind grace the stage.

(Photo Credits: Emmy.com, NBC via Getty Images, UK Daily Mail, Hollywood Life, US Magazine)

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Gallery of Fashion (T)errors (Click on image for full size view of each cartoon)

Just Say No To The Final Sale?: I don’t know about you, but it takes me about halfway into a season to figure out what to wear, so I’m just hitting my summer stride. Fortunately (or unfortunately) that discovery tends to coincide with sale season making me an easy target for the bait: the dreaded fashion mistake purchase. Apparently it happens to the best of us according to Meenal Mistry who wrote an article in the weekend edition of the WSJ entitled “Oops, I Did It Again” and known as “Five Ways to Avoid Shopping Mistakes” online. (See Article) I’m wondering if Britney Spears knows about that for two reasons.

One is the obvious appropriation of her song title and the other is because Ms. Spears (who I love dearly) aside from when she is onstage and is trashy chic, always looks as if she shopped the sale rack at Kmart during a major clearance 15 years ago. If that’s the case at least she’s not out a lot of cash as Ms. Mistry is with the purchase of a tragic pair of marked down Celine tuxedo pants with an odd fit. They are unfixable by a tailor due to their strange proportions; overly big waist coupled with overly tight legs.

“Fashion Don’ts” – Courtney Love

The article categorizes the main “boo-boos” we all tend to make when confronted with a “too-good-to-be-true” sale and details how these mistakes make a great teaching opportunity so as not to become a repeat offender. On the other hand, she also says that “missing out on something great is a mistake” so how do you tell the difference? Her best advice: “Believe in love at first try” is a good one; anything that has difficulties in the store will only become more pronounced when you get it home. She encourages you to think of your best fashion purchase, how you felt when you found it and set the bar there.

CDG jacket

Also, sales themselves can be suspect: the odds of something great from a major designer fashion house being marked down over 50% are zero according to the article. My own personal experience is that if you are somewhere out of the way (read NOT NYC) you can sometimes find a good deal on an item that no one in let’s say the ATL would dare wear still languishing on the sale rack. Even on Madison Avenue in Manhattan I’ve lucked out recently scoring an unworn tags-still-attached Comme Des Garcons blazer with weird rosette/origami embellishments at more than 70% off including the 20% off sale that the entire store was having. Granted, it’s not the sort of piece you wear every day but, if you want statement making it’s got that covered! I’m definitely thinking Fashion Week worthy…

Refashionista “reforms” Nun dress

ReFashionista Inspo: Not sure how I’m so tardy to the party but the Refashionista just came on my horizon aka Jillian Owens from Columbia, South Carolina. Upset with the current trend for “fast fashion” and disposability of said items, Ms. Owens decided about four years ago to use garments that she found in a local thrift store for $1 or things donated from friends and repurpose them into fashionable and wearable items. She then puts the made over item on her blog, wears it once, and then donates it to a women’s shelter — how amazing is that? She is incredibly creative and will not hesitate to pick the most heinous garment and by sewing, dyeing and tweaking (sometimes making an entirely different garment out of it as in a skirt could become a top) she will make it fashionable.

She appeared on Rachael Ray in July 2012 and remade a studio audience member’s pink poufy prom dress (a “Pretty In Pink” moment?) into something “wearable for every day” and it’s killing me that I cannot find the clip of the reveal anywhere. In the meantime, her blog is endlessly entertaining and I only touched the tip of the iceberg on it with her most recent entries. It’s a little Project Runway without the trip to Mood, the infighting with the other designers, or Tim Gunn. Ms. Owens’ tone is fairly irreverent which keeps it interesting. Check it out here: http://refashionista.net/

Cast of B.O.R.N. To Style

“What’s On The Telly?”: No, it’s not a penguin but, Monty Python reference aside, there are some great July happenings in TV land.  First of all, Project Runway is back with a new season on July 24 and I can’t wait! Need my PR fix ASAP! In the meantime, I’ve pre-watched online a new show on FYI, Network (formerly Bio channel) called “B.O.R.N. To Style” which premiered July 15 (Thursdays at 10 p.m.) It’s another show about stylists (I was a fan of Lifetime’s “Million Dollar Shopper” when it was on last summer) however the action on this show takes place in a brick-and-mortar local vintage store on West 125th Street in Harlem. B.O.R.N stands for borrowed, old, refurbished, new and the nine year old store is ” part hangout, part boot camp, part advice shop.” (See video)

Owned by the ebullient Jonathan Bodrick described as a “father figure” as well as “Attila the Hun mixed with the fairy from Cinderella” and featuring stylists Latino JJ Langan, Southerner Brandon Hood. Assistant/Jonathan’s godson Devin Stokes; Jonathan’s 11 year partner/lover Terry Artis as well as makeup artist and the “only anatomically correct girl”( according to JJ), Kristen Brown constitute the rest of this lively crew. This half-dozen crack-wise and smart at first impression–in fact, if you’ve read my recount of the Met Costume Gala where I was standing near a group of gay men who were sharp with the one liners, then this is like flashing forward about a decade or so with them.

Jonathan, JJ and client Alison

While not necessarily catty, these men are slinging the zingers and bon mots with amazing alacrity. Some examples are more straightforward including Jonathan’s “Fashion is more than what you wear…it’s an attitude,” or “The closet is the window to the soul,” as well as “good fashion begins with your undergarments.” As he explains when styling one of the two clients (both singers incidentally) featured on this episode for a fashion shoot, “This isn’t my first runway.” In one scene with JJ and Jonathan heading to see a client on a snow walk through Brooklyn they question whether they are in Williamsburg or Bushwick. “I don’t know, I think it’s the same. The neighborhood has changed,” Jonathan says.

The quips mostly fall to JJ and Brandon with his southern inflection, who when referring to Devin’s lateness to the photo shoot styling says “Sometimes that boy is about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.” Upon seeing a wall sized prop of a gun in a client’s Brooklyn apartment Brandon utters “We need to shoot her with a fashion bullet.” Upon coaxing and cajoling the picky Pharrell discovered singer Maxine Ashley who likes to dress “boy” into some fishnets and a sequin bodysuit while retaining her “edginess” he shows his approval with “It’s about to get severe up in here.” During a bra fitting for client Alison (a boyish Blondie/Debbie Harry aspirant who previously only owned and wore sports bras) JJ exhibits disbelief that anyone wouldn’t want to show off an asset: “If I had boobs, everyone would know!” he proclaims. During the stressful photo shoot when an outfit isn’t quite working he offers: “Although I do trust Jonathan’s aesthetic, there’s a fine line between genius and madness and that line gets crossed way too often.” Since this was only the first episode of the season I’m wondering if the repartee will stay snappy all the way until the finale.

Alison as a rock star

Also of note, as opposed to “Million Dollar Shoppers” there is no mention of retail prices so far in this show although high-end designers names are constantly dropped, making me wonder if Alison’s Stella McCartney pants outfit was a gift or a show loaner? Previously oversized-sweatsuit-wearing rock band lead singer/ Metropolitan Opera dancer Alison glows as she describes her glam moth to “butterfly”-like transformation. She went from looking like a ” homeless boy to looking like a rock star!” so all’s good in the hood! “I feel like a more vibrant version of myself,” she adds in perhaps the most empowering statement. This episode definitely had a gender bending aspect to it which brings the song “Lola” by the Kinks to mind about. For a new take on this concept, check out the Jenny Lewis video which recently went viral online called “Just One of the Guys” starring Kristen Stewart, Anne Hathaway and Brie Larson in drag. (Play Video)

If nothing else, Jenny’s suit is all kinds of awesome.

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A show stopping necklace

All of those pieces were designed by Liza Gottlieb  who also sells out of her East 61st Street. studio. She is having a sample sale on July 1st and 2nd in which many of her designs including bracelets, show-stopping necklaces, earrings and rings will be half off. “These are not things you find in Chinatown,” Liza said referring to her one-of-a kind pieces. She travels the world three times a year collecting and curating materials from flea markets and other sources in her native Paris, Barcelona, St. Petersburg and Vienna where she grew up. “You just can’t find these here,” she said, showing me the type of well-made, sturdy base used for one model of her elaborately beaded earrings. She proffers an example of what’s available locally and I see that it can be bent in half quite easily unlike its French counterpart. The quality she insists on has apparently been noticed by Hollywood elite. “I call this one the Catherine Zeta-Jones” she remarks while showing off a multi-strand many colored torsade; a twin to a necklace that had previously been purchased by the star.

Not only is the jewelry itself interesting but Ms. Gottlieb has designed it with beautiful, functional and easy to use clasps that hook into each other effortlessly; a feature which anyone as inept as myself will certainly appreciate. She has several necklaces that can be added to others, in order to lengthen a choker by virtue of decoratively embellished and crystallized magnetic clasps. Several others are made as lariats that simply tie closed. She also has some magnetized embellishments that can be added to any of her necklaces so that you can further customize your look. Sale priced jewelry begins at about $100 for a bracelet with semi-precious stones (they make great gifts) on up to some of the more flamboyant necklaces which retail for about $900 and will be $450 for the sale. For more information about her July 2 4PM-8PM sample sale contact (917) 292-9964 or lizalieb@yahoo.fr.

Balmain flag print jean jacket

Patriot Act: The red/white/ blue and ubiquitous wearing of “Old Glory” in clothing normally reserved for July 4th has gotten an extended turn this year thanks to the World Cup. Beginning in mid-June I started observing this trend and initially thought the wearer was getting an early jump on Independence Day. Silly me, I eventually realized the error of my ways and noted that there would be an entire month devoted to the donning of the flag. A similar event happened way back in 2012 (Summer Olympics anyone?) enabling a writer in Boston to sound off (tongue-in-chicly, I’m assuming) as it is technically a “federal offense” to wear the flag or its knock-offs. (see Boston Magazine article) Maybe someone should tell that bit about not wearing stars and stripes to Ralph Lauren…HA! Why the writer calls out women in particular (It’s entitled “Ladies, Stop Wearing the Flag”) when the guy in the photo wears a flag swimsuit as well, is a mystery.

Catherine Malandrino’s flag dress

Among the iconic garments worth a mention here is Catherine Malandrino’s famous American flag dress which first appeared in 2001 (eerily pre 9/11) and has been re-issued due to its popularity and re-made in slightly different forms ever since. In a more international forum, shoe and bag designer Charlotte Olympia who’s half-Brazilian has issued a limited edition of her Perspex clutches complete with soccer flag inserts as a sporty tie-in. Fun fact: her trademark spider closure is painted to look like a soccer ball. I also took note of several classy vintage finds from 1st Dibs, just in case your 4th involves something dressier than a weenie roast. These include a Balmain flag print jean jacket, a Jean Paul Gaultier dress in draped red and white as well as a red with white polka dotted jersey Pauline Trigere dress; to the last two dresses you could always add a blue accessory.

Seen On (and around) The Subway: No, not flashers, thank goodness, although judging from The New York Daily New’s recent “coverage” (or should I say “exposure”) they’re very common. My observations were of a kinder, gentler sort including the grin inducing “Pac-Man gobbling up the dots” sign seen on the L train. I also did a double-take and had a laugh at the electronic sign in the window of the 2nd Avenue Subway’s Information Office located near 86th Street on Second Avenue. Only 921 days and counting (for those mathematically challenged, that’s almost 3 years!) until you can ride its first installment. In all fairness I saw that sign a few days ago so we could be talking a mere 915 days by now. This is actually something to marvel at as my husband remembers his father speaking of 1935, the year he was 15, when the Third Avenue El was torn down and the Second Avenue subway was invoked as the line that would replace it. Unbelievably, it never happened in my father-in-law’s(aka “Poppy’s”) lifetime.

Out of the Mouths (and off the Backs) of Babes: I don’t as a rule like to mention the Kimye duo on this blog and knowing their propensity for everything outlandish actually cringed at the thought of what they might do to celebrate baby North West’s 1st b’day. As we now know they brought “Kidchella” to Kourtney’s backyard complete with Ferris wheel, musicians, carnival food and face painting. Of course with the Kardashians there’s got to be a scandal; Khloe got in trouble with the Native American community for wearing full Indian headdress. I say forget it as long as there were no ” Molly” laced lollipops floating around and no pacifiers used to prevent “ravers” rolling on “E” (rather than tuning into E!) from biting their tongues. Little birthday girl Nori’s OOTD (Outfit of the Day) was a fringed suede-like “Pocahontas” inspired dress (don’t even want to know what high-end designer made it), the all important crown made of flowers, and looks to have included encasing her little chubby baby legs in gladiator sandals at some point. Yes, that is child abuse in my book…no word on whether she even walks yet (somehow we know that the “other Royal baby” aka Prince George is getting around on two feet now). Certainly any attempts at footing it that “Norphan” or “Ignori” (as the press have dubbed her) might have considered would be indefinitely quashed with gladiator pre-walkers.

Here’s wishing you a Happy 4th…no matter what you wear!

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