New York Fashion Cool-Aid ®

Et tu Pantone? In a sign of our current state of political correctness/gender fluidity, the color institute has become afraid/indecisive naming twin colors for 2016: Rose Quartz and Serenity (is this a color or a bladder control product)? The Institute claims that these colors taken together are meant to invoke relaxation, harmony and balance in our chaotic world; not to bring to mind a baby shower; while saying that they are “welcoming colors that psychologically fulfill our yearning for reassurance and security.” It seems to me that Prada, in particular, has already nailed these colors (although their blue was a little greener) in their Fall/Winter 2015 collections. In addition to this being one of the first times that Pantone has selected anything in the pastel range, this two-fer may lead us down a slippery slope.

Amy Schumer’s Pirelli Calendar photo

What’s next? Should we get ready for two Miss Americas (one always has a scandal), two Presidents (we won’t trust either one of them), or two horses winning the Triple Crown? Soon everything that we hold dear will be surrendered and it will truly signal the apocalypse. Amy Schumer will appear semi-naked sans photo shop with VBR (visible belly rolls) in the Pirelli Pin-Up Calendar while most of the other “months” will be clothed. Aaargh!

For those who feel adrift in the modern age there are very few things that are recognizable  from our youth– few things changed with the times at all. For some reason No. 2 pencils come to mind; they are the same trusty instruments that they were in grade school/middle school/high school (ugh! SAT’s)/college and beyond which is comforting. I pencil in my crossword puzzles rather than write over the wrong answers in pen. Pencils are handy for pushing buttons; I keep one around just for the purpose of reaching a difficult switch on my HVAC unit.

Paul Smith cuff links from Mrporter.com

Recently I received a credit to spend on a men’s online shopping site. I rapidly clicked to the accessories section — my husband has a cuff links compulsion; the male version of a shoe addiction. Although he’s a lawyer rather than a teacher I was willing to bet that these Paul Smith pencil sleeve fasteners would hit the sweet spot between whimsical and reassuring. Bingo!

Shatzi kids scarf

Shortly after that I was flipping through another email featuring hats and scarves when I came upon a pencil scarf. Although available in “Ticonderoga yellow” for adults, this kids version was close to the baby pink and blue of the Pantone picks. http://shatzilife.com/collections/kids/products/the-pencil-scarf?mc_cid=4b2f3587c8&mc_eid=e45959d197

Also Pantone proper is this No. 2 pencil 5 panel hat on sale for $22. http://valfre.com/products/no-2-pencil-5-panel-hat

If you want to listen to music, here are pencil earbuds. http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/magic-pencil-earphones

Gold filled pencil necklace $145

Rather wear your pencil around your neck? While more of a mechanical pencil, this is reminiscent of Joan Holloway’s Mad Men pen necklace. http://www.frenchgardenhouse.com/item_5042/Georgia-Hecht-Antique-Love-Letter-Gold-Filled-Pencil-Necklace.htm

Costis pencil bracelets

Check out Costis for the real deal: 18k white or yellow gold with tsavorite and black diamonds, diamonds and rubies, or red spinel and black diamond jeweled pencil bracelets, necklaces and pencil shaving earrings. http://www.costis.com/prodotto.php?idc=29&idp=37#37

Markin ring

Other fine jewelry with a pencil theme can be found at Vladimirmarkin.com including a ring ($420), golden pencil pendant ($1,700) or earrings ($1,800). There’s also a pair of paperclip earrings in silver $450) that look interesting. http://www.vladimirmarkin.com/products/ring-pencil

Me & Zena Write On ring (also available in blue)

If you are interested in realism on a budget check out the Me & Zena write on pencil ring. http://www.meandzena.com/products/write-on-pencil-ring

Artist Norma Copley pencil bracelet

Feeling flush? You might like Artist Norma Copley’s chic 22k gold bangle bracelet with coral eraser– a numbered piece in a limited edition collection of only 7 or 8 pieces with space for engraving the owners name. http://www.robinkatz.co/noma-copley-pencil-bangle/

Susan Lenart Kazmer jewelry

Another handcrafted showstopper: Susan Lenart Kazmer’s awesome bracelet. susanlenartkazmer.com

Etsy Miceart colored pencil bracelet in resin

All about the colored pencil? Etsy’s got you covered with many color variations on this resin encased bangle including a Pantone perfect iteration. https://www.etsy.com/listing/234682487/resin-bracelet-bangle-bracelet-resin?ref=related-2

Elevenses pencil skirt on eBay

In terms of clothing, there’s (ahem) the pencil skirt. Ahh the company Elevenses are a funny bunch– making a pencil skirt with a pencil print is so “self-a-wear”. They featured it in two colors, both out of stock but available in limited sizes on eBay.

Pencil updo

Lastly, if all of this has left you a little hot under the collar, here’s some instructions on how to put your medium to long hair up in an actual pencil. http://pencils.com/how-to-put-your-hair-up-with-a-pencil/. Ah, I feel transported back to middle school when I was jealous of any girl that could slay this look. Of course those were the days before youtube videos and online how to’s gave us such power… before the concept of Pantone picking hues of the year was even a colorful dot on the not so tranquil horizon.

– Laurel Marcus

Laurel Marcus

OG journo major who thought Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" was a fashion guide. Desktop comedienne -- the world of fashion gives me no shortage of material.

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