The Nature of the Beast: Greetings NYFW Fall/Winter 2016

If New York Fashion Week was a living breathing entity it would most resemble a belching seven-headed hydra, bloated by a steady diet of junk food. Once an industry trade show, now an entertainment fix for giddy bloggers, the insider ennui for Fall/Winter 2016 runs higher than the hem on Heidi Klum’s skirt. See New York Post article take on how New York Fashion Week has become one big pain in the ass.

The good news is that everyone agrees the system is broken, including those possessing the power to fix it. There’s even talk of designers showing in real time, (as several have defected and already done), rather than the old-school “season away” shows in which featured clothes aren’t available for purchase for six months. In this day of what I’m going to call “Social Im-mediacy” that idea actually makes a lot of sense and may help the current retail crisis. It might also bring about a semi-solution to some of the rampant fast fashion copying.

At least for this possibly last conventional fashion week, I’ve adopted an almost Zen-like attitude or at least an “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” one and broken the expected experience down to the four “S’s;” SHOES, SWAG, “SELL-EBRITIES” and SNIPING.

Kendall & Kylie at their fashion line launch

SHOES: Apparently, while no one was looking Kendall & Kylie snuck into town and held a press party on Monday night for the introduction of their Kendall+Kylie line of next-gen basics. With a very different aesthetic and price point than The Row, you could say that the Olsen sisters have nothing to worry about. I spotted this quotable gem on K+K’s Instagram and unfortunately I (and millions of others) do relate to it:

“My room was clean, but then I had to match my outfit with my shoes.”

Yeah, we’ve all been there especially during Fashion Week! I always hope that the icy sidewalks will factor into some attendees selection of appropriate footwear, however it almost never does. Too bad most of us lack a staffer to straighten up the ensuing clothing tornado left in our wake.

Beyonce at the Super Bowl

SWAG: While Beyonce may have gotten “hot sauce in her bag” most of us hoi polloi get gift or discount certificates (not to “Red Lobster” though), magazines, cosmetics, useless plastic gizmos and gadgets, chocolates and various sweets, in ours. I often wonder why I am compelled to lug around these items resulting in shoulder and back pain and peril, only to throw the gifted items into a specially designated “swag drawer” at home, never to be opened again. It’s scary to think that this drawer could be used as a time capsule to our life here on Planet NYFW when opened in the year 2116.

Zoolander 2 cast

“SELL-EBRITIES” — Forget the usual RHONY cast members. Be on the lookout for the A-list cast of Zoolander 2 who were in town last night for the movie’s premiere. You gotta love the preview in which poor Valentina (Cruz) as former swimsuit model turned Interpol agent (Global Fashion Division) tells Derek (Stiller) why she could never be a high fashion model: “I was never able to transition to your world because of these,” she says while unzipping her top. His response “Ewww!”

Christian Siriano

SNIPING — The internet allows everyone a chance to be a fashion critic. Just ask designer Christian Siriano who posted this yesterday on his Twitter feed:

 “I read some fashion blog comments for the first time today in a long time. So many people need to take a xanax. It’s not that serious. I’m not talking about real fashion commentary, I’m talking about all the keyboard warriors out there who think they are Diana Vreeland.”

And on that note, this “keyboard warrior” is off to prep for tomorrow. I plan on doing closet bar shoulder stretches whilst selecting my OOTD around my kicks.

Laurel Marcus

Laurel Marcus

OG journo major who thought Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" was a fashion guide. Desktop comedienne -- the world of fashion gives me no shortage of material.

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