‘Cry me a River(s)’

Okay – I’ll get right to it. My overall impression was that there was too much predictable skin, décolleté, and boobs (or should I say boob jobs) on display at last night’s Golden Globe Awards, and not nearly enough real style, chic, or personal flair. The ‘Woman of the Hour’ and one who rarely disappoints – Nicole Kidman- was perhaps the most disappointing in her choice of gold sequined knee length flapper style YSL dress (complete with tacky sheer mesh top). And her hairstyle (done in ‘undone’ ringlets further accessorized with gold lame ‘headband’) didn’t help her cause.

Of course, she is admittedly so beautiful and striking, that no matter what she wears, she still manages to look gorgeous. And, you have to give her credit for at least taking risks, trying different looks, and constantly experimenting. She is, after all, Hollywood’s most celebrated chameleon- one big reason why she has become such a favorite of the fashion world.

Speaking of ‘taking risks’ and experimenting- Jennifer Aniston would benefit from taking a risk or two. The pretty and popular actress appears to own only one dress. There is hardly an award show she attends where she is not wearing one version or another of a long black gown with plunging neckline, accessorized with black sandals. The last time she really ‘shined’ on the Red Carpet was years back when newly married, she showed up with Brad Pitt in tow, wearing a long red satin Prada gown and carrying a tiny Prada shoulder bag in a matching shade.

And though I applaud Sofia Coppola for taking some risks and bucking the trend for stilettos and big time glamour by opting for little girl flats to accessorize her little black dress (by Marc Jacobs I assume), this is one case where she would have benefitted from wearing killer heels. In my opinion, she looked a bit too awkward as she took the stage.

Sara Jessica Parker’s made to order dark gray Chanel frothy confection with the perky bow in back (reportedly whipped up for her in Paris just days before) made her look like an aging prom Queen, and I HATED her overdone hairdo. In addition, it was hard not to notice that the diminutive actress was wearing heels that were almost as tall as she is.

Meryl Streep’s very full knee length black sheer skirt (which she realized was transparent only after she took the stage) did nothing to flatter her womanly form, and though Jennifer Lopez looked elegant and chic in her tangerine Michael Kors draped gown with gold leather harness, it made her look like a stuffed sausage nonetheless.

Speaking of stuffed sausages, Fergie (Sara Ferguson of course) looked terrible in her black lace Dolce & Gabbana slip dress with long black stretch satin gloves- she does not have the slim, beautifully toned arms to have pulled that off. And her heavy ‘Goth’ inspired eye makeup was too exaggerated- it made her look as if she had been crying all night.

Who really looked like a ‘Movie Star’, exhibiting a heavy dose of ‘drop dead’ glamour? ‘Best Actress’ Charlize Theron in pale yellow chiffon Christian Dior boasting a beautiful back and cascade of tiny ruffles; Uma Thurman in a graceful floor length lavender satin bias cut dress; a very pregnant and glowing Cate Blanchett in arresting ruby red satin Donna Karan; and the always gorgeous Catherine Zeta Jones who accompanied hubby Michael Douglas. Wearing simple black, she is just so beautiful, she does not need any bells or whistles (or over the top fashion statements) in order to stand out.

I also liked the one- shouldered and terribly elegant pale pink chiffon vintage Valentino gown chosen by Kim Cattrall. And though I disliked Gwen Stefani’s lacquered hair, I applaud her choice of covered up yet form fitting long white dress that featured demure cap sleeves, mock turtleneck, and self belt with tiny bow. In a sea of too much skin, at least she proved one can stand out without being nude. In the same vein, I thought beautiful blond actress Maria Bello looked extremely chic in her white satin short- sleeved blouse accessorized with masses of pearls encasing her neck.

That said, it can’t go unnoticed that Joan Rivers- who is known for her on air caustic comments and reviews of the Red Carpet fashion for ‘E’- can never seem to get it right, makes the biggest blunders, and is the biggest fashion ‘don’t’ herself. Season after season, she shows up looking like a caricature of herself (or rather, a Drag Queen’s rendition) with her overblown, over the top fashion statements. While she is usually very well dressed and suitably subdued and tailored for day, as soon as she takes the mike (with daughter Melissa), her taste seems to go out the window. Come on Joan, you are too old to be wearing gold, glitter, sequins, furs, and feathers- all at the same time. It’s time to take a look in the mirror and tone it down a notch (or two, or three).



Ernest Schmatolla is publisher of Lookonline since 1994. It is the longest running fashion site on the Internet.

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