ROYGBIV “Fashions” Dominate VMA’s

Anticipating encountering  any serious fashion at the MTV Video Music Awards is like anticipating encountering the Abominable Snowman in the desert. Sorry, it’s just not gonna happen. So let’s roll with the homies and dish about some fun and colorful human Skittles who give us life each year at this awards show.

Jeremy Scott

First of all, how perfect is Moschino designer Jeremy Scott’s test pattern cutaway suit worn shirtless (was he channeling Miley)? While the look is reminiscent of last year’s yellow smiley-faced back suit, this year’s version was completely in keeping with the spirit of the night and Scott’s role as the creative force behind the color blocked “red” carpet look. He also gave the formerly silver Moonman award a makeover, or a colorization you could say, bringing the astronaut statuette into this year’s “taste the rainbow” theme.

Walk The Moon

Other early red carpet appearances included the male group “Walk The Moon” who looked like they had perhaps walked into a Benjamin Moore during their celestial stroll. Their “paintball meets Jackson Pollock” inspired suits struck just the right note for this award show. Also, a shout out is in order to Actor Michael Willett in his artistically multi-hued “painted desert” suit by Anthony Franco.

Miley Versace Red Carpet Look

And speaking of our “hostess with the leastest”, everyone was excited to see how much or how little clothing host Miley Cyrus would don. After walking the carpet in a silver Versace “Barbarella” inspired look (nice boots, uhh that’s with a “t” Miley), she literally slid in to open the show in true kaleidoscopic fashion. Her sparking multicolored jumpsuit, awesome platforms and headdress were also totally on point for an event with all the solemnity of a weenie roast. There were several other colorful changes of clothing, some more successful than others but you’ve totally got to give her props for the sheer number of them–and thanks to the makers of all that strategically placed double-stick tape!

Miley on Jimmy Kimmel

I actually preferred her even more risque look on Jimmy Kimmel last week which gave us a glimpse of what we were in for. The former Disney star wore a multicolored cape and wide legged pant of jeweled hearts; in lieu of a shirt were sparkly heart-shaped pasties (no #Givenchy on these sticky items; she claims everything was purchased on Hollywood Boulevard) while Kimmel tried desperately to avert his eyes. When he asked her to please try to keep her arms to her sides so that the cape would not be flung open, she offered, by way of explanation that underboob and sideboob are acceptable in our culture, yet the nipple, inherent in both male and female anatomy, is banned. Thankfully she did not launch into full-on “Free The Nipple” proselytizing. Fast forward to late last night at the VMA’s when Miley managed to sneak in an uncensored nip slip as she changed behind a curtain, despite a several second on-air delay: (Video clip).

Jeannie Mai

Believe it or not, there were those who actually wore more conventional clothing! One of them was TV host Jeannie Mai rocking an eye-catching outfit of patterned crop top and matching full length skirt, accessorized with a wide gold belt; one of my favorite outfits of the evening. It seems to me that the wearing of very revealing outfits (read most of the women), aside from the constant maintenance of having to adjust your bits from falling out everywhere, would have lessened the fun of the evening but apparently that IS the fun of the evening for many past and present VMA goers.

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna seem to have teamed up in a common sartorial and sarcastic thread. If you take into account the well-fanned sparks of discontent (which regular humans get to witness via intermittent Twitter war eruptions) that both of these women suffer at the hands of various Kardashians and Kardashian spouses, these outfits made some sense. Rose sported a Sprouse-like catsuit while Chyna wore a low cut gown each emblazoned with some choice words; the outfits were not only colorful but featured some “colorful” epithets. Rose mentioned that the word “slut” was strategically featured across her nether regions while “Gold Digger” ran down her arm (think Kanye’s song). Talk about a statement-making outfit!

Kim and Kanye Why So Drab?

Speaking of the Kardashians, Kim and Kanye bucked the trend wearing colorless and particularly unflattering khaki duds. Kim’s Balmain safari themed dress could not have been more unforgiving of her pregnancy especially when she displayed a derriere side view resembling the mid-air Hindenburg. After Taylor Swift (the first two rows were nearly completely occupied by members of her #TaylorSwiftNation “Bad Blood” girl squad) ironically presented West with his Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, Kanye, as he is wont to do, proceeded to engage in a typically cringe worthy rant for what seemed like an eternity. In his baggy tan t-shirt and matching drab pants Yeezus clearly didn’t get the festive dress memo. The black leather shirt he wore to disrupt Taylor’s acceptance speech six years ago, which he derided in his rambling speech, would have actually been an upgrade. If only Taylor hadn’t invoked those now famous words “I’mma let you finish…” we might have been spared what was hopefully the biggest joke of the night: Kanye West running for President in 2020!

– Laurel Marcus

Laurel Marcus

OG journo major who thought Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" was a fashion guide. Desktop comedienne -- the world of fashion gives me no shortage of material.

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